Is there beauty in breaking-up? Part 1

A friend of mine is going through a very, very painful break-up. Here, we have a romantic relationship spanning two decades that, almost suddenly, had gone dead.  I have found myself chatting with this friend everyday for the past few weeks. We are in two different countries, and although we've been good friends for 13+ years, we never really felt the need to communicate on a daily basis, until this breakup. I welcome every opportunity to listen to her thoughts. Today, she emailed me an excerpt from Leonard Cohen's "Anthem". Click on the link as it makes a dramatic backdrop to this post!

The birds they sang

at the break of day

Start again

I heard them say

Don't dwell on what

has passed away

or what is yet to be

The wars they will 

be fought again

The holy dove

She will be caught again

bought and sold

and bought again

the dove is never free   

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in 

When a relationship with someone who you thought was THE one ends, the feeling is worse than death. Worse because death is final while a break-up, in many instances, feels deceivingly temporary and curable. It is the presence of hope ... when there is actually none ... that makes a break-up even more painful than death. 

My friend and I are learning a lot from each other. The constant conversations are helping ... I think. We even came up with a strategy on how to survive a painful break-up:

1. Avoid the ex, i.e., remove him/her from your life.

2. Give yourself a few minutes a day to cry your heart out and then, determinedly,  go back to daily living.

3. Keep busy. Work. Exercise. Spend time with happy people and avoid those with too much negativity.

4.  Live moment by moment. Do not look too far ahead.

I am adding:

5. Eat healthy. And, under NO circumstances, should you binge on ice cream, pastries, or anything remotely fattening!  

The beauty here is in re-discovering that romance, afterall, is just a tiny part of anybody's life and that there are many, many other things out there to enjoy, like, Whatsapp-ing a friend.

Remember this movie?